


Take Me Home

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, Sadness, at the start tho, clarke talking about jasper, fluff end, idk im emo, s5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-04-27 01:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14414361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: His lips part with a silent gasp, Clarke gripping the wet grass with her shaking hands while feeling everything erupt within her soul looking into his eyes as they bore into her’s.“She is.”OR a time lapse of Clarke Griffin’s most important ups and downs in her six years on the ground as the lone survivor.





	Take Me Home

**Author's Note:**

> BELLARKE REUNION? Who else experienced that magic in 5x03? I’ve been working on the fic for the past three weeks, wondering how I should end it. It’s finally done, and I hope you all enjoy! Feel free to leave kudos or comments, really hope this one makes you feel some things :) xox

Two months. That's how long it takes for Clarke to break, for her soul to open to the empty world and for all hell to break loose. The idea of hell didn't even seem like a bad choice at that very low point, at least she'd be her own ideal nightmare, and dead. With her friends by her side, death was something they'd all be afraid of yet handle the task at hand with a gun perched on their shoulders. 

Fight or die. 

She's fought so hard, but the demons from mount weather and losing those she loved most came back with a biting vengeance. Literally. The pain was almost too much to bear by herself, nagging against the side of her brain like a ticking clock. 

It doesn't help when she returns to Arkadia, and what's left of it because it's a huge pile of bones.  _Her own people_   _screamed in agony as they burned to death._ She had a hand in killing them, knowing her list of hundred people was handy when she prayed it would never be used. But there's no forgiving god, so having faith was utterly useless. 

There Clarke Griffin stood, small shaking hands gripping Jasper's goggles until her knuckles turned a pale white. She doesn't realize at first, because she's so weak and dehydrated and  _friendless._ She remembers seeing Monty and how tuned off he was with the world after coming to rescue her, because his best friend died in his own arms. So determined to make sure no one else died, no one else. 

"I miss you too, I'm so so-sorry about all the p-pain I caused you" Clarke stutters out, sobs coming from the back of her throat, it's ugly and no one is there to see it. Maybe,  _just_ maybe she could transfer her pain and burden onto someone who felt the same. Then, she thinks of killing Maya, the only source of happiness the man had in a world that turned out so cold. 

He used to say, Earth was beautiful for all it's worth. 

She likes to say that Earth robbed her for a girl that overworked herself and would be okay with living on her own. 

Earth was horrid for this, so she cries some more. 

With her eyes swollen, the tears flowing, Clarke spots the name card titled "Monty" knowing that it was meant for one of the men living up in space, without Jasper and without Clarke. 

That's when she loses it, her sanity. 

"I'M DONE" Clarke screams, already having the muscle memory of grabbing the gun from her holster because she was always in danger on the ground. She's just trying to save herself. 

"I'VE LOST EVERYTHING-" she pauses, trying to wipe at the never ending tears down her cheeks feeling it burn. She deserves it. "-I'VE LOST MY FRIENDS, MY MOTHER, MY FATHER" She bites her tongue hard, feeling the walls of her throat clench with the pain soaring in her heart because she can't say  _his_ name. 

No matter how much she hates it, how much she wants to give up on life, Bellamy had to live. He has to be surviving and leading the rest of her friends up there in space, he just had to be okay. Even when she wasn't. 

"I-I can't do this anymore" Clarke whispers to herself, setting her face in her trembling fingers dropping the gun all in the process. The confession came with a small voice, unlike the yelling only seconds ago. Nobody could hear the strong leader cry, and she was grateful for that at least. 

The wind whistles outside the frame of Arkadia's main space, and she almost thinks another storm is coming. It would've been the fifth storm in a two week time period, and she hates the dew smell on the limited choice of clothes she has, because the rain would nip at her skin like it stung. 

Until, she realizes it wasn't as tough as previous signals. 

She tries to calm her sobs, her soul being forced to stop crying, but she turns towards the cracked window sill. 

Wings, she sees them first. A baby blue like the shirt she had on, but the course of flight was lopsided so she guesses that it was a effect of radiation on body cells. 

It starts to let out a gentle coo, like it's inviting the poor girl on an adventure. An adventure she's willing to take to not give up just yet, wanting to feel something other than depression. 

She grabs Jasper's goggles and note to a hopefully okay friend, and she lets out a deep breathe to give her strength even with her shaking body which tries it's best to navigate the voice of the mutated bird. 

Strength, Clarke needs that. 

              __________________

 

[Day 112] 

 

It almost scares her, with how quick the grass grew back. 

It took a little over four months. It started to turn yellow as it grew above a few inches, and then die only to begin the process all over again which inflated Clarke's excitement too much. 

Then it turns green. It's right towards the end of spring, but she bends down to pick up a premature fruit from the only good plant ; or the one that doesn't make Clarke vomit as much for now, and sees a sprout of light green originating from the roots. 

"Oh My...." Clarke says fascinated, she can't help but let a soft smile adorn her lips, something that doesn't happen often but damnit, green was a normal color! 

She flicks her pointer finger against it, hoping it doesn't disappear and it doesn't. She wipes a few strands of her stiff  blonde hair from the night shower the day before, and winds it behind her ears to beware of the small burns still left from the lake. 

Everything still hurt, her heart and mind for being alone, but some things were finally looking up. 

Even if it was small, like the changing color of a plant. 

She remembers the time where she hadn’t eaten for a week and a half, surviving by the bare necessity of her own saliva and whatever she could swallow and not throw back up again. The reminder alone makes her feel glad to have a little extra food. 

               ________________ 

 

[Day 203] 

 

“That’s you. You’re a nightblood too right?” Clarke repeats, resisting the urge to grin widely when the wild haired girl was staring at awe at the drawing propped up onto the boulder. She knew it would work, the strategy of calm over shock, it had only been several minutes since she set a little trap of her own. A portrait of a girl that spiked three holes in the calve of her right leg. 

The younger girl nods, face scrunched because she doesn’t understand the language and she’s never seen herself reflected onto anything but the fish she catches in the lake. 

“You’re very pretty” Clarke racks the depths of her mind to try and find something she would relate to and she finally gets it “Know Wanheda? That’s me.” 

The girl stumbles backwards in shock but points in Clarke’s direction, “You? Killer?” 

Clarke shakes her head because she thought it would been a better reaction. The poor girl was only a child. 

“Kill me?” Clarke watches as the girl grows a frown, the strength of her previous actions of that animal trap diminished as her lips shook. 

“Of course not. I’m not gonna hurt you, I promise” Clarke let’s the grin appear on her face, daring herself to walk - more like limp - in her direction so they’d console one another. 

She needs someone. She needs trust. 

Clarke has given up so much, that she almost lets herself do it again and hope the girl doesn’t come back with a vengeance knowing that Wanheda was alive and the last other person living on Earth. But, she feels the child tug on the ends of her shirt sleeve and pull herself into Clarke’s arms. 

Clarke drops her charcoal piece and her notepad, and lets out her own sob into the little girl’s neck because she finally has someone to be around. 

She has someone to take care of, protect and love. 

“Sorry. Your leg” Clarke giggles because she’s glad, but because her English isn’t so good. 

“That’s alright. What’s your name?” 

The girl doesn’t understand well so she tilts her head that was laid in the book of Clarke’s neck. 

“Name? Uh...what did your people call you?” A sad smile on both their lips. 

“Madi. I’m Madi” 

“I’m Clarke, and you’re all I got sweetheart” She strokes some hair out of Madi’s dirty face, wondering how strong of a bond this relationship could be. 

She has a daughter now.

Wanheda, the commander of death, raising a result of love and life.

It pains her to see it because all she could see was Bellamy in that moment, but it’s an oxymoron.

A stupid oxymoron.

             _________________

 

[Day 1043] 

 

Clarke adjusts herself on the wooden log, already used to the prickling against the material of her clothing. She fixes the satellite as best she could, hoping tonight was the night it would finally bring her an answer. To bring her the person she’s striving for, to just hear his voice. 

She’s starting to forget it, and she hates herself for it. 

“Bellamy? It’s Clarke again, like every other night. Can you guys hear me?” The radio erupts in static, the buzzing making Clarke anxious of waiting for a response but she didn’t wanna wake up Madi. 

Her fingers tangle themselves in the chord of the radio that connect to the antenna at the top, hoping for something. 

“It’s been three years, or at least that’s what Madi tells me. She knows how to keep track of time so she’s smart. She’s like you Bellamy, so great” Clarke snickers, her heart slightly tearing with every pause of the message going through. 

“Bell?” She wants, she longs to hear his voice and Clarke is getting tired of waiting. 

Shes vulnerable for him, like how she always has been. 

“Bellamy, I miss you” she says, letting the playfulness die on the tip of her tongue. 

Clarke demands, “P-Please say you could hear me” oblivious to how the man and the rest of her friends are thousands of miles away in her forgotten home. 

However; she lets her eyes wander to the dark of the night, the bright stars sparkling and dancing on the very ground in front of her feet and she gets thrown back into her realization. 

“I’m forgetting your voice Bell, and it hurts me.” She wants to stop recording the conversation, wanting to shut it off incase Bellamy ever can have the pleasure of hearing her own voice but she can’t. “Why do you think I do this everyday? To keep me grounded. So that you could hear my voice, when I can’t hear your’s. Listen to how much I want you back, maybe it’ll make the universe hate me less when we’re together again.” 

With those words, Clarke lets go of the transmission button to free herself of the burden of yet another failed attempt to get in touch with the people who matter most. 

She places the radio and satellite in the backseat of the rover, and smiling as she makes her way into her tent to see Madi sleeping peacefully. 

Peace. Clarke finally has that. 

Love? Not from everyone she wants it from. 

She’ll have to wait for the love she craves for another two years, so she settles for the big spoon behind her sleeping little girl and drifts to sleep. 

Motherly love is rewarding enough so Clarke has to accept it. She does with open arms, of course. 

              _______________

 

[Day 2,201] 

 

“Stop, that’s far enough” Diyoza barks out, her only focus on the man who’s body is gravitating towards the attention of her prisoner on the cold dirty ground. 

“Give me a reason as to why I shouldn’t  kill you right there on the spot?” She demands, trying not to be blinded by the headlights from the car in front of her. She recalls it being a rover, but the woman from Eden, the sky, didn’t say much during interrogations. 

Bellamy can’t help from glancing over at a wincing Clarke with a collar around her neck, his heart beating so loud that he hopes it wouldn’t shatter the cup in his covered hand. 

“How about 283?” Bellamy raises the purple mug titled ‘best Dad in the universe’ and lets the cold ceramic be the relief to his burning skin “283 of your people will die tomorrow if you and I don’t make a deal.” 

He’s intimidating, using his head to negotiate with the people who are making his blood boil. Clarke would be proud, and she is.

She’s right in front of him, blue almost grey eyes in the bright light staring at his every move.

Diyoza speaks first, before the odd man from the sky does anything else. She’s shocked to say the least, knowing the guard in the cryotanks is probably dead and it’s all his fault.

“283 lives for 1? She must be pretty important to you” Diyoza tests the waters of the unforgotten and unsettling history between the people she doesn’t know. 

Everyone points their gun at Bellamy Blake, waiting for the signal, small or vocal to kill the man who’s made a sudden intrusion like the knight he is. 

His lips part with a silent gasp, Clarke gripping the wet grass with her hands feeling everything erupt within her soul looking at his eyes bore into her’s. 

“She is.” Bellamy blurts out, no explanation needed. None at all. 

Clarke breathes shakily, watching McCreary with the corner of her eye because she doesn’t wanna be in pain in front of Bellamy. 

“A deal? What can you possible provide for a group of people before your time? We’re ruthless” Diyoza questions, knowing her superiority and army could take down seven people as fast as she awoke from her one hundred year slumber. 

“If you get my people out of the underground bunker, we won’t kill the people who are trapped in those cryotanks” Bellamy advices, hoping he was going in the right path of this whole using his head thing. 

“We’re prepared to go to war with the army we have, and we will fight for this Valley. That’s all we wanted from the girl” Diyoza answers, pointing her gun right at Clarke. 

“My people are the same, and if you help me get them out....I’m willing to share the valley” Clarke gasps for air suddenly, McCreary shocking her again. 

Everything stops, Bellamy doesn’t listen to orders from anyone expect Clarke and she’s the one in trouble. 

Diyoza stops his anxious form, pressing a hand to his chest trying to show strength and leadership. She could sense the smirk on her own partner’s face, and it makes no change in her face. 

Torture? She loves that. 

“You’re hurting her, you’re hurting Clarke....please let her go” Bellamy pleads for the first time in a long time, probably exposing everything that matters in his life in record time. 

He needs to get to Clarke. 

He could hear her gasp and shake, tears cascading down her face. Half pain, half relief to know Bellamy is there to save her this time. 

“We’ll talk about that deal tomorrow morning, just know we’ve done much worse to your precious girl. I’m doing this to protect my people” Diyoza’s words spit out like venom, confirming what she thought the first time she saw him walk out of the car for the girl. 

He cares too much, and it sounds like some epic love story, like the ones her mother used to read to her 200 years prior. 

Bellamy doesn’t waste anytime, feeling the harsh words slash his mind carelessly as his only thought was Clarke, and getting that stupid collar off. 

Bellamy slides in the dirt, crawling a few inches before he’s sat right in front of her for the first time in years. 

He feels slight pain against his knees, knowing he’ll probably bruise or bleed but it doesn’t matter now. 

“I swear to god, if you don’t get this collar off her right now-“ Bellamy demands, his hands held tightly in the fragile ones of Clarke Griffin with palms bursting with sweet contact. “I won’t hesitate to choke you to death like the one I killed on your ship” 

McCreary is too stubborn to care, however obeying when Diyoza lifts her hand to make him oblige. His hands were rough unlike Bellamy, and Clarke whimpers softly because she’s been shocked four times and her heart rate hasn’t gone down.

“Bellamy? It’s you?” Clarke whispers, eyes closed because she can’t believe he was actually there. 

“It’s me. Can you open your eyes for me? Are you hurt?” He asks, hands frantic as it roams from her shoulders, neck to her full cheeks. 

The collar comes loose, Eliguis long gone from their special moment and it finally makes him break. 

Six years, that’s when Bellamy breaks. 

“Come on Clarke, open your eyes. You’re okay now, Madi’s gone. I’m here and you’ll always be okay with me” Bellamy begs, scooting himself closer to her weak body. 

She does open her eyes a few seconds later, the dark brown sea of his pupils were so daunting it makes her smile, letting her shaky hands hold his face. 

“You’re back?” She asks again. 

Bellamy does something he never thought he would do, but he can’t stop what his heart wants. 

“You’re alive?” Bellamy plants a feather like kiss on Clarke’s right wrist to feel her pulse against the soft flesh of his own mouth. She is very much alive. It was a feeling too intimate to fully take in, so he holds her forearm so he could do that without being awkward. 

“T-They tortured me Bell.” She admits, and that’s when he sees the blood hide on the edge of her lips, the blue color growing quickly where the collar was. 

“They won’t do it again, we’ll make a deal with them. You and I. Sound good?”

Clarke knows he’s matured, grown without her, lived his life without her being a constant staple in his everyday. She wants to feel sad, but she feels joy because it’s what she told him to be. 

He listens to her, so she nods. They made a beautiful team, the head and heart, and she trusts with every fiber in her soul that he’ll do anything to protect her now. They won’t lose eachother again. 

“Come here” Clarke gestures, tugging Bellamy by pinching the material at the middle of his shirt and pulling him. Her arms wrap softly around the curve of his shoulders, grinning through the pain she was in. He loves the feeling of her curling into his arms like he would disappear. He loves it too much, because he doesn’t want this to be all a dream either. 

He’s the first one to break down, tears warm against the sensitive area of her neck and Bellamy says, “I thought you were dead, Clarke. I left you behind and you were alone...I-I’m so sorry” 

“I had Madi, she’s great. Like you” Clarke bites her lip, remembering the radio call she made repeating the same words. 

“But you didn’t have me. I didn’t have you with me, and I beat myself up so much over this.” Bellamy wraps his arms tighter, left hand mistakingly creeping under the back of her shirt softly somehow making Clarke too happy. The cold of his trembling fingers find warmth as they trail across her lower spine. 

She didn’t mind. 

“Did it suck? Monty’s algae?” She jokes. 

“Yes, and he had six years to perfect it.” 

Bellamy wants to pull her impossibly closer, craving to have her body against his at it’s most vulnerable time. He can’t apologize enough, feeling guilty for even thinking he lost someone so important. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He rubs the bruise on her neck as gently as he could wanting it to disappear so he won’t have to be reminded. He’s serious again, shamelessly wanting to talk about nothing but Clarke. 

She grins with her teeth, her stomach feeling fuzzy as her mind takes the memories of how his face changed. 

The scruff on the sides of his face, adorning his cheeks and upper lip like something her father used to joke about having. 

The long curls, inky and black against the tan skin of his forehead and she strings at a couple, to feel something that belonged to him. 

His matching smile, shock and relief. 

“Madi found you?” Clarke still hasn’t let go of her grip around his neck. She knew her girl could do it, she trained her for that moment. 

“Yeah, she did.” Bellamy continues with a low voice pretending like people were around, “She recognized me because of you”

He feels her suck in a breath, obviously taken back by the information. Like he had been, too. 

“I drew the others, basically everyone we knew. I drew you the most, I think” She says embarrassingly, her cheeks hot and not because of the shock. 

“Can I see them?” A childish grin on his face. 

“Someday, maybe when we have peace with Eliguis” She replies, pulling away from his body like she’d been caught with some sort of treason on the Ark. 

They’ve never been this touchy before. 

“Is it bad?” His hands find a place at her hips, light seems to dim around them, eyes bowing to meet her gaze. He never wants to stop looking at her. “Is it bad that I already feel so peaceful being with you again? I don’t wanna leave this Clarke.” 

The words pouring from his the bottom of his chest slowly, wanting her to understand that he wants something. He wants her to be with him. 

“I don’t wanna leave what we had before and I can’t let you go right now” Bellamy warns, knowing his forgiving god was showing pity on his long grieving heart. 

“We have to fight now. We fight for what we love first, what we need” Clarke wants to reassure him, the thought of fighting for this valley or forming an alliance with people who won’t agree with the one-thousand population living below the rubble. She’s already said so much, so much confession to someone who’s finally there with her, so she can’t say that she needs him. Not yet. 

“Win the fight, and we save everyone. That’s what we do as leaders” Bellamy adds on, wiping a stray tear from the sky in her eyes, “Co-leaders”. 

He feels her smile against the tips of his fingers and he’s at ease with her next few words, “You have no idea how much I missed this, how you would hold me when I needed you. I have you back”. 

He watches as she lets a few more tears fall, getting lost in his harmless gaze and how Bellamy makes her feel inside. 

“You needed me? Clarke, I’m finally here and I’m not leaving” Bellamy responds sharply, a promise that he’s gonna make sure he keeps for eternity. 

She’s rational so she speaks what he’s dreading to hear “So, what now?”.

Clarke asks, not wanting to spend the entire night tossed on the ground, even with her favorite person next to her. She needs to get to Madi and figure out the Eliguis agreement. 

“We fight for what we need, what we love. But, that’s for the morning. Right now, I really need to be with someone-“ 

Bellamy stops himself, wondering if he should say it. 

He hasn’t been off the ring for more than a day, and he’s saved the princess, the queen of the valley. He’s on Earth. 

So he says fuck it. 

“I really need to be next to someone I love, and it’s you Clarke. I need to be with you” Bellamy chokes out, convincing the both of them that their hearts can mend it’s pieces back together. 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
